This is 28…republished 10 years later

I read a great article in the Huffington Post called “This is 38” by Lindsey Mead. I loved this article for many reasons. First, we all know that 30, 40, and 50 are big milestones. Seeing someone reflect on her age was nice, just on the cusp of a big milestone. Since my impending birthday is around the corner (which will solidify my last year in my 20s), I have been inspired to create my own “This is 28.” Here, I can reflect on my own meaning of being right at the edge of 30.

This is 28: I am really an adult.

Twenty-eight is realizing you are truly an adult. It is understanding that life is unpredictable and the teenager that once “knew it all” is long gone. It is having many unanswered questions despite having some life experience. My future is still unclear, and most best-laid plans have gone out the window. (Aren’t we all still trying to figure out what we want to do when we grow up anyway?) 

Twenty-eight is looking at pictures of myself and realizing that my face is changing. I envision the 21-year-old college girl with a wide smile, but she has transformed. I have no wrinkles yet, but my face looks like a more refined version of myself.

Twenty-eight is trading in Greek Week, class schedules, and late-night runs to EL Rancho for Junior League, Book Club, and Pampered Chef Parties. 

Twenty-eight is full of baby showers, fewer weddings, and nights out have now become nights in; taking dinner to friends with new babies is a monthly occurrence. Twenty-eight is developing a new level of empathy as friends experience infertility, miscarriages, and sick babies.

Twenty-eight is having a swollen heart bursting with love. Being a mommy to babies, I do not feel like a “Mom Mom” because I am not at the age to belong to a PTA. I am a nursing, diaper changing, spastic, rolling on the floor, tickle monster, trying-to-figure-it-out mom that didn’t know you could love something so tiny and ornery so much.

Twenty-eight is falling in love with your husband again for the first time. Now that you are no longer “Newlyweds,” watching him turn into your partner and become a father, and the way he still looks at you like you are the 21-year-old in little booty shorts, even though those shorts probably resemble underwear now when I put them on. Twenty-eight is realizing no matter how much work marriage is, I will get a chance to fall in love with him over and over again as the years pass and finally understand what it means to love him more today than I did yesterday.

Twenty-eight is watching life transitions. Your grandparents begin to pass away, your parents turn into the grandparents, and you turn into the parents. You slap yourself internally as your mother’s voice exits your mouth.

Twenty-eight is losing the feeling of invincibility. Realizing that people close to you will die, life is short, heartbreak is a part of the journey, and happiness is a choice you choose to make every day.  

Twenty-eight is choosing to have a deeper relationship with God. Learning and embracing different religions and faith practices. Not solely based on bible studies, attending mass, or being socially Christian. But a deep-seated relationship based on faith and personal understanding between God and me.

Twenty-eight is learning to let go, growing a thicker skin, and understanding that it’s not what matters to others, but it’s what matters to you that counts.

Twenty-eight is knowing that God-willing, I have a lot of years left to live. At twenty-eight, I still feel that if I wanted to become a movie star, I still could. Further schooling is still an option, and travel is a must even though a pack-and-play will now be part of our necessities. Twenty-eight is being liberated from childhood to become your own person—the initial feeling of being whole and falling head first into the abyss of life without knowing how deep the water really is…this is 28.

This is 38…

This is 38. I am in the throws of balancing motherhood, career, kids, marriage, and finances. I am overstimulated, overwhelmed, and overbooked. I have my feet firmly rooted on the ground, but at the same time, I have no clue where life is taking me. I am 38 and feel like I am just beginning my real life.

I am not the doe-eyed 28-year-old new mom. I am seasoned, stretched, and grateful, and I am okay with knowing I don't have all the answers. I am done having children. My heart and hands are too full. And even though there are days when I think this is too much, I know that I would not change a thing in my chaotic household. I am eternally grateful for what God has given me, no matter the tears and years it took to get here.

I am not head over heels in love with my husband; I don't waste my time on fairytales. Instead, I am grounded in the deep love of an imperfect marriage. I understand now why they say marriage is daily work, a daily choice, to choose each other over and over again. I secretly chuckle at the girl I was 10 years ago when I could not imagine a marriage not filled with only hearts and butterflies. I realize it is easy to love someone, but liking someone is a different thing. I am one of the lucky ones. I love and also like my husband, and remember that every time we get 10 minutes alone without chaos.

I love my girlfriends; I now have numerous deep friendships over 25 years old, from preschool to college and into adulthood. I root for the women in my life and love them deeply. I fully understand the value of multigenerational friendship, the women who guide me, those who went before me, and those who keep me young. I prioritized keeping my village despite being spread thousands of miles apart because I know life is too hard to do it alone.

I love my parents, and so many friends are starting to lose theirs; I talk to them daily, even when they drive me crazy. I understand how much they were growing up as they were raising me. I realize more that my mom is sweet and kind, and I wish I were more like her because her heart is so pure. My dad is loud and chaotic, and I feel like his mirror. I learned from his business mistakes, inherited his sense of hustle, and credit him for my entrepreneurial spirit.

I have learned it's a blessing to have siblings but a BIGGER blessing if your siblings are also your friends. I only realize now that the combination of the two is so extremely rare, and I will never take my friendship with my siblings for granted.

I have 3 degrees and don't use a single one of them. I chose a life of balance, peace, and making money. And sometimes, that means working a job to provide the life you want because peace of mind over accolades is worth that. You realize you don't have to be trapped in a box just because you tell yourself this is your box. JOY can be created outside of work. I've moved from therapist to land acquisition to Cookie, Sign, and Disney Lady.

Health is wealth - and I can't eat half a pizza anymore, and that's okay. I can't have ice cream, not because I care about my weight but because having dairy is a nightmare for my stomach. I have accepted that for my body to stay healthy, I need sleep, movement, and to fuel my body with the food it needs versus what I want.

My relationship with God is not rooted in how many Bible studies I attend or being in a church every Sunday. But it is deeply personal, rooted in faith, and not for show.

In the words of the great Maya Angelou, when people show you who they are, believe them—the first time. I have learned that people will show up if they want to be there for you. Not because you make them, but because it's important to them. Don't waste your time showing up for people who will not show up for you.

Most of all, I have learned how much I like and love myself. I don't strive to be perfect; there is so much dishonesty in perfection. I don't care how much my body has changed as long as my heart has not. I am not the glitzy Dallas girl I once was; I traded in my Lexus for a Minivan and my Louis Vuitton for a Disney Fanny pack. I still love the occasional luxury, but honestly, I would rather be at Disney. Because at 38, frankly, I just don't give a shit. I no longer avoid confrontation because dwelling on issues does not serve anyone. Instead, I say exactly how I feel when I feel, but always with kindness.

I got the best advice at my business school graduation and have lived by it for 18 years. "You can have it all, just not at the same time." I can't be the best mom, wife, blogger, baker, cook, or employee simultaneously, and that's okay. Because right now, I have my health, kids, husband, and a wonderfully chaotic life, which is enough for me. They used to say 38 was mid-life, but I feel I am just starting.

Click here to read the original “This is 28.” We hope you make is back in January 2024 for the Launch of The Well Hello Sister Podcast”